Acceptance - of myself and others

Most of the time I potter away here doing things that make life easier for us.  Hanno does the same, although he usually works outside. My daily tasks include cleaning, organising, mending and looking after the vegetable garden. I gather herbs for cooking, I peel vegetables and fruit, I make stock and sauces and place a home-cooked meal on the table every day at 12 midday.  I don't watch the clock to do that, it just happens that way.



Every day I make our bed and instead of thinking about getting through it fast and what I'll do next, I think about the bed and how to make it comfortable. We all spend a lot of time in bed and it helps us relax and sleep so we have the energy to do the work we need to do each day.  All those thoughts help me to not just pull up the doona/quilt, they make me slow down, fluff up pillows, adjust crooked sheets, make sure the side tables are dust-free and that when I walk away, job done, I've done the best I can do and we have a clean and comfortable bed waiting for us every night. I wonder if there are other mindful bed makers out there.

Apple and cinnamon butter cake.
I set a task for myself two weeks ago to change my work room. I want to move all my ironing gear in there so it's out of the bedroom and in a space where I work already. I moved the ironing to the bedroom two years ago as a temporary measure and it's stayed there, reminding me of work when I'm trying to relax. If I just ploughed through it I would have had it moved in one day, but as I'm sure you know housework is rarely a linear activity, it is often interrupted, so the move is only partly done.  Back in the day I would have been disappointed in myself for being so slow but now I accept it. I'm in a season of slowness, I'm not the fast and efficient workhorse I used to be and I'm fine with that. Self-acceptance, it's a fine thing and something we have to learn, and sometimes relearn. None of us will stay in our prime, if you live long enough you'll lose some of your strength, you won't work at the same pace all your life. All of us who live that long need to adjust our thinking to know that is okay, and that a slower rhythm is part of life and part of the balance most of us accept as we age.


And now acceptance of another kind.  I'm very pleased that recently we Australians voted to accept same-sex marriage as part of our legal and social lives. I don't know why we had to vote to allow fellow citizens the right to marry the person they love. I don't know why it took us so long to do it but I do know that if I have the right to marry the person I love, everyone else should have that same right.  So thank you my fellow Australians for knowing that love is love and saying yes to it. ❤️

31 comments

  1. I thought the book on the right - Coming Home - looked interesting so popped onto a website to look it up. Over £600! which is probably quite a lot of your dollars!

    I'm slowing down too, still aged 30 inside but my 62 year old back and knees disagree!

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  2. I'm with you absolutely on same-sex marriage. If two people love each other they absolutely should have the right to marry. Well done Australia!

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  3. That's a delicious, cinnamon-y cake, Rhonda. Yum! My ironing board lives in my ensuite because it fits neatly in there and that's where I iron whatever I need for a particular day. I'm not someone who does big lots of ironing at once and avoids it completely whenever possible! So, the ensuite set-up works for me. Meg:)

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  4. Well said Rhonda to the last paragraph, we all need more love, whatever it's form.

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  5. Goodmorning Rhonda,
    I know I whip through my jobs too fast, I definitely don’t do them mindfully. Hubby and I make our bed every morning before I run out the door for work, we do make it well but then turn the top sheet and quilt back to expose the bottom sheet, I love to air the bed all day. It’s a funny way to do it I guess but the bed always looks tidy even without the quilt on. And I second your thoughts on marriage equality and the right to marry whom you love, life is too short. Have a lovely day.
    Fi

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  6. Good Morning Rhonda, my name is Kate and I'm from Tasmania. I have read your blog for quite some time (I am one of your lurkers) and commented very occasionally. While you were away I started reading from the beginning, and am loving every bit. I thought it might be nice to introduce myself instead of just popping up once in a blue moon with a random comment lol. I too was very pleased to see Australians vote in favor of same sex marriage, and I do hope that it shows greater acceptance and tolerance in our communities. As to self acceptance due to physical limitations, that is something I have struggled with over the last ten years, not just because of age also from physical damage, but am finally coming to terms with. Thank you so much for sharing all that you do with us Rhonda, I hope you continue to do so for a very long time to come. Take care

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    1. Hello Kate, thank you for introducing yourself. I really appreciate it when readers take the time to say hello. It makes blogging much more personal for me when I know some of the people out there.

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  7. Lovely post and all of it so true. I recently had a blog incident with a fellow blogger I really liked that left me very unsure. She posted about the statues in the south being removed was not right and that civil war (US) (was about taxes and the lack compromise by the States. I commented that the removal of the statues in the south is about removing the symbol of oppression and representation of slavery. Well, long story short she removed me from her blog list etc. I felt very hurt and unsure about how I felt but I know it was right. Still even at my age (65) self doubt does creep in. Thank you for your blog and your open mindedness.

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    1. Christina, you are right. Even the great grandsons of Robert E. Lee, who surrendered the South at Appomattox, said that even though they respected and loved their ancestor, times have changed and that reasonable thinking and moving forward is the ticket. They don't agree with slavery; and none of us should. Those statues are indeed about those who defended it. Interestingly enough, General Lee himself did not really approve of it, but led those in his state out of loyalty to his homeland. If you have lost who you thought was a friend, perhaps you did not have a real friend to begin with. Taxes had nothing to do with the Civil War (any more than money has to do with government!); that was part of the Revolutionary War issues.

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    2. Yes, Rhonda; I too have been trying to get used to and accept my limitations. I turned 65 recently, and am not quite as spry as I used to be. But I am carrying okay so far with no major complaints as of yet. I liked the description of your bed-making tasks: I try to approach my room that way. Love a comfy and clean bed; well made.

      Your response to your government's decision to overturn laws against same sex couple marrying was heartwarming. Although I do not fit that category, I also welcome diversity and feel that those who love one another should be able to have the same privileges as anyone else. It's about time, isn't it?

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    3. As a Yank, I can't tell you how sorry I am that you have been affected by the current insanity in our country. From the few details you give, I am absolutely sure that your view is the decent, whole-hearted response to the reprehensible events in our history.
      If it helps at all, I'm touched by your concern, and it gives me a little hope that all will be well. Please know that your willingness to expose yourself to the negative response of someone you regarded as a friend matters--that person may be rethinking the issues, and come to a more loving, open-minded understanding of the difficulties we all face. For now, I'm sending all good wishes your way, Kate in Oregon

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  8. l completely agree with your last paragraph Rhonda. l am proud to be an AUSSIE but wonder about our elected representatives inability to legislate.
    oh and l had your old laundry detergent recipe out this morning and made a batch. Hubby really loves his work clothes washed in your recipe and our rain water. That recipe was printed out when you first put it up here in August 2007. Now of course l have your books with all their info but l seem to still pull out my old paper recipe from years ago when l make the detergent.
    Thank you for your work on here and the books.

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  9. Morning Rhonda, I have just order Good Old Days Good Old Ways online, the title in your photo "grabbed" me and I felt a real need to find and purchase the book. I'm really looking forward to it arriving in the post.
    Bed Making - hmm - I'm a "straighten and retuck the bottom sheet, tidy the top sheet and blanket then fold back to air the bed for the day". I do like your idea of a daily tidy and dust of bedside tables and intend to take that on board when I return home from Darwin in two weeks. Cheers Lyndie

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  10. I would consider myself a 'mindful bed maker'--I read somewhere that taking the time to do things like smooth the sheet and make sure everything is comfortable and cozy is another way to express your love for your family (as is taking time to make someone's favorite dinner, etc). Ever since I started thinking of it that way, I take an extra minute or two to make sure it's all tidy and comfortable.

    What is that in the third photo? Looks like maybe some kind of apple cake? Looks tasty!

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    1. It's an apple and cinnamon butter cake. :- )

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  11. I struggle to get my work done if I have to do it too quickly - I hate rushing and I'm enough of a perfectionist that I want to do things properly. I look forward to being in a season of my life where I can work at my own pace.
    I'm glad that we've voted for equal marriage too. I know so many people who have had long, committed, loving relationships that have never been recognised, which causes such grief and difficulty as they get older and need each other more. As individuals we need to be able to choose the people that we trust and rely on and have protection for those choices - and I say that as a single person who is supported by my friends. So thank you for speaking up in support of love.

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  12. I too was happy with the outcome of our recent vote for same sex marriage and had thought the same thing. Shouldn’t it just be a right that two people who love each other can legally be married. Why we were asked to vote I’m not sure but so happy for all couples. Well done Australia.
    I always make our bed properly each morning and make sure the kids do the same. My pyjamas always get folded neatly and placed under my pillow. Once again I’ve trained the kids to do the same. Love jumping into bed each night and putting on pj’s which are folded nicely. For me it’s also about doing one task at a time properly the first time and giving it my full attention. I then move onto the next thing.
    Kylie

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  13. Hi Rhonda. My name is Patricia. I live in NYC with my husband and our mini Australian Shepherd dog Oliver. I enjoy your blog very much. I love reading about your daily tasks, Gracie and how supportive you are of your family. One of the most interesting things I took from your posts is that one can create a simple life anywhere. In addition, anyone who supports and accepts love between two people is dear to my heart. Thank you!

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    1. Hello Patricia, thanks for introducing yourself. I believe that anyone can live simply wherever they are in the world. Simple life isn't a product of what's around you, it's becomes real by living according to your values and what's in your heart.

      Love loses out a lot of the time but I think it's what keeps us going. It can be love of family, pets, a location, art, literature, music, cooking or whatever. If you love someone or something, it feeds you.

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  14. I remember owning the Sharp Carousel Microwave Cookbook, I wonder what happened to it. It was probably a victim of a tidy up. I always feel better too Rhonda when our bed is made nicely and the bedroom is clean and tidy, not to mention how nice it is to have freshly washed sheets. The little things in life mean a lot and keep us going. Pauline

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  15. Hello Rhonda,

    your post has reminded me to change the sheets tonight, they are rumpled and consequently that's how I have felt when I've woken up in the morning! Although I'm only 50 I very much look forward to your thoughts on ageing. You are honest and inspiring.

    I was so touched by your comments about gay marriage. I came out in the eighties and a lot has improved since then. But I still found this whole debate gruelling and disheartening. Although it was a 'yes' vote I still cried for the next 24 hours! I think those who don't want us to be treated equally have no idea how soul-destroying homophobia is. Aside from wanting to marry my beautiful partner, I am just so pleased for all of the young Australians who do not fit into the straight box. The rate of suicide for young GLBTQI is much higher than our youth suicide rate, and that's just not okay. So thank you to all who voted yes!

    Madeleine.x

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  16. Loved your comments as well and it’s funny how making the bed just seems to set some sort of organisation in place for the day. I’m the same with making lists. They make me feel organised. I too am relishing self acceptance. I pity women who obsess about their appearance as they age and spend a fortune on cosmetic surgery. Aren’t those of us here lucky to be who we are and enjoying a simple life

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  17. I don't always have time to make the bed like that, but on the weekends I always take some time to dust and tidy the bedside tables, it is so nice to have a relaxing space.

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  18. On behalf of the Community, I thank you Rhonda - not only for your acceptance - but support.
    xx ����

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  19. Congratulations Australia.
    Love is all there is

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  20. "I'm in a season of slowness, <----> and I'm fine with that."

    What a beautiful way to put it... Later life. Being fine with it, is a large bit of Wisdom.

    Luna Crone

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  21. I too put much care in making the bed each morning. It seems to set the mood that a productive day is about to begin. Thank you for your comments on diversity in love. My twin brother is gay and he has lived with a partner for many decades now. They have been accepted in the family. My children grew up with two loving and caring uncles.

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  22. Ah Rhonda, the same sex marriage survey. I was so worried the no vote would win. I have friends who are gay and they are lovely people the same as anyone else. My eldery parents (90 and 86) voted yes. They have been married for 65 years, and feel everyone should have that right. My bed is my sanctuary, I enjoy making it, it has to be just right, for me anyway. Lovely post.

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  23. That apple butter cake looks great!

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